DATING A BOY VS. A MAN (11 THINGS)

02:43 Elijah Ogidi-Olu 0 Comments



I started out writing by not trying to write what you’re about to read the way you’re about to read it. That is, I tried not to make these comparisons which some readers lurking to prey on my immaculate mind would term as being bias, unjust and even blunt, but here we are, both reading some gender comparisons I made. Not wanting to be overly inconsiderate and blunt, I must start by pointing out the fact that there’s an element of a child in everyone regardless of any age group you fall into. If that now provides you with some sense of relief. But being childish is quite different from having the element of a child.

Children are always living to be childish while every adult are not without the elements of a child. 

This in no world violates any natural law or any biological or revolutionary law. Hence the separator between a child and an adult, a boy and a man and a girl and a woman which is being spoken on more elaborately on this post:

“The child in us believes that if the traitors of our current placements and positions finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness.”  - Psychology Today.

But let me chip in, as quickly as possible, that our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our subconscious sometimes draw us to the qualities which hurt us the most.
Every female starts out as a girl, to the teenager years, but somewhere in between the passing of a decade, most times, some things change.
Physically the application of change is general, in other life’s spheres and sectors, not to everyone.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. Maturity is what’s being referred to here, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people, regardless of their age will never really grow up. You can switch the genders in this post and most points would likely still apply.

A woman learns to love herself, become independent, confident, and values her self-worth. They go through hardships and heartbreaks but picks themselves back up with inbuilt strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as their source of empowerment, they are focused on basing empowerment on intelligence, success and values, contributions to the world and how they can help others. In a sense, they are grownups. There’s always a transition from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

  1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
  2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
  3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
  4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
  5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
  6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
  7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
  8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
  9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
  10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
*And by “games” I mean relationship mind games.


Mature Minds Talk.



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