5 WAYS TO DEAL WITH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

12:00 Elijah Ogidi-Olu 1 Comments


Emotionally abusive relationships. You meet someone who you think is absolutely fantabulous. You think they are going to be the one. After a few months of that "new couple bliss," the tables start to turn. Your best suddenly becomes not good enough. Yeah sure, I've been there. When problems came up, I wanted to fix them but they were outside of your control. I wanted to make eveything better for the person who ultimately, was doing me more harm than good, but I refused to accept it.

The truth? So so many women who are in similar situations aren't the real reason behind the issues. You and I, we aren't the catalyst that can change these abusers for the better. More truth? Getting out is necessary. It may not be easy. It may not be what your heart wants. But it has to happen.

Looking back, I wish I had someone to help me during the hardest times. That's why I present you with 5 ways to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship:

1. Accept it. This is probably the hardest part. As much as you want to make everything hunky dory for you and your partner -- some things just aren't under your control. Accepting it is the first step to moving forward in your life. Recognize that it won't be easy. That's OK. Moving on from any relationship, emotionally abusive or not, is never simple.

2. Find comfort in friends. Your closest friends will be there for you to pick you up when you're down. In my experience, your friends haven't been fans of your emotionally abusive partner for a while now. It may be hard to admit you finally see what they've been saying for the last few months, but once you do -- you'll feel a weight lifted. A good friend just wants you to be okay. At this point in time, it's not about who is right or wrong. It's about romantic comedies, ordering takeout, and sleepovers -- no matter how old you are.

3. Distractions are critical. Now is as good a time as any to pick up a new hobby. When you're in a relationship, you dedicate a whole chunk of your personal time to another person. With those time slots suddenly open, your calendar is wide open. Pick up a few extra classes at your gym, look into a local photography club, check out the running store down the block. Allow yourself to explore new things.

4. Let out your feelings. It's okay not to be okay. I think it's safe to say that so so many women want to stay strong and put on a good face for family and friends around them.If you hold in your true feelings, you're never going to allow yourself to grieve the end of something that meant a lot to you. You're allowed. I promise.

5. Cut the loose ends. Friends with friends of his on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the like? Those constant reminders of someone who did you harm are 100 percent unnecessary, but it's hard to cut the chord. If you wouldn't be friends with them outside of the relationship, then cut the chord. Whether that be "unfriending" them completely or just blocking them from your News feed -- it will help you to move on.

Have you ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship?... Drop your comments.


Mature Minds Talk.

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1 comment:

  1. Yes, I rowed this boat before and what made it kinda hard to let go was that after being single for a long while, dude came along and I though he was the one. The first one month was fine then I noticed he lied to me initially, as I was busy with project I wasn't really fazed. I noticed I was the one always doing the checking up, all of a sudden he had different excuses, in order not to appear clingy I reduced the rate I called, I think he noticed at that point. Emotional abuse is even worse than the physical abuse. It wasn't easy but hey I let go and am enjoying every moment of this single life

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