May 13, 2014 Elijah Ogidi-Olu 2 Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Tokunbo. I'm 35 and married with a daughter. You're reading this because I need views and opinions before I make regrettable decisions.
I love my wife to the core and will do anything to keep her happy. Although we've been married for 3 years, I've known Chidinma since I was a corper in lagos and she was a student in Unilag. We started dating and she motivated me into working while I was serving. I got enough money & with her
motivation, I moved from squatting with some of my cousin's friends in ojuelegba to a self contain at Surulere. She moved in with me after service, around when I got a telecommunication job on the island. She insisted we moved to the island like she doesn't know how expensive living there was. To cut the long story short, we moved to a miniflat in VI. The next year, I opened a boutique for her and we both make considerably good income at the end of every month.
My wife has an extravagance problem and at first, I saw it as a positive motivational habit but now I know I was wrong. I've stopped taking her for shopping cos once something attracts her she buys it. However needless and unreasonable. She stops when her cash is exhausted. Sometimes she borrows from me, from her siblings, from her friends and has even tried borrowing from our church. Early this year, she told me she was worried with her lavish spending and that she needed help. She saw a therapist for a week and stopped. All effort to get her back was to no avail.
She recently borrowed a huge sum of money to purchase a land at lekki phase 2. Her extravagance has really dragged my name in the mud as she can't seem to stop borrowing even though after every nasty incident, she cries and vows to control herself. I'm really fed up cos this habit, to me has good sides (like the land that will appreciate in cost later, although I'm or we're still owing like N6.5m in total.) And we've had to change my daughter's school to a cheaper one. She calls me "Mr. Stingy" but I know I'm not stingy. I'm just being prudent.
I'm thinking of divorcing Chidinma cos we can't keep cutting our coats above our sizes and expect to move forward. I have more important things to achieve financially than just settling brainless debts. There's nothing bad in thinking and acting big but when there's no self control like my wife, one will end up thinking and acting foolish.
Pls what do I do now cos I'm really really fed up? Thanks.

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  1. Hmmmmmm.. An igbo proverb says "when one comes to the land of men without ears, one cut off one's ears" divorce isn't the solution if you ask me. Sit her down and explain the difference between wants and needs.. Since you are the prudent one, I think you should handle the atm and all, draw up a budget and stick religiously to it. God help you

  2. Yeah,u are right @amaka