THE EX FACTOR #28

21:00 Elijah Ogidi-Olu 0 Comments


Listen to the voice of your heart. Mother Nature gives tells gives it a sign when she wants to make a joke out of you.

“…and I can’t lie I was happy when I heard the news of her miscarriage. Although a part of me felt very sorry for her, I still felt like I was being naturally given a second chance by Mother Nature.
To show my sympathy and concern, I called her and we’ve spoken around two to three times after that. She said she’s moving on with her life and she has nothing against me and I can also move on with mine, since there are no interlocking paths anymore. Well, asides that, I must confess that… errr…. Ok! I wanted to advice Jay against dating Lizzy once cos I didn’t buy the idea of him dating a single mum. No offence intended.”

Lizzy gave a slight nod.

“Asides that, I don’t think there’s anything else. Thanks guys.”

I resumed breathing after holding up for around five minutes or thereabout, just so I could faint if Dave mistakenly dropped the drop.
If I was asked who was more likely to spill the fact we conspired against our confession MC, I’ll say Dave cos asides the fact that it was his idea, he was more detailed into it and it could have easily slipped Kate’s mind and not the Albert Einstein behind the plot but I’m too smart for nature and it sense of humour. It slipped Dave’s mind means nature is about coming at me from the less likely angle and I could just let that happen. I knew I had to do something but I couldn’t possibly know what.
I was the Sacred Dove and the selfless hero in this whole story and now, I was about getting dragged into the scandal. I’ve escaped Dave’s loophole but I’m not sure about Kate’s and if it’s falling into any loophole, I would gladly choose Dave’s loophole.

“Who’s next?” Tunde asked, looking directly at Kate with a smile on his face.

“Ok, I guess I’m the last man standing or woman if you all would prefer.” Kate looked around and everybody paid rapt attention like she had a reason for talking last.

I opened my eyes slightly.

“Errr…where do I start from?... I don’t really have much to say but I hope nobody in this room would take offence at whatever it is I’ve said when I’m through saying it. Agreed guys?

Everyone nodded amidst murmurs.

“Ok, I Hope no one confirms this from Jay when he wakes up but I used to be called Jealous K. just cos I had an enormous crush on him and I was so envious of his relationship with Titi and I gave myself the take it or break it assignment.”

Kate looked at Titi and she replied with a slight nod and a smile.

“I began sending silly texts and threats but I respect this lady standing here. She didn’t allow it get to her and when she eventually caught me and my senseless pranks, I didn’t owe her more than a slap.”
Everyone chuckled.

“I need to confess that right from the time I saw Jay again in church after so many years, I still had a slight and I mean very slight crush on him but I didn’t allow myself to fantasize like I did back then but who can blame me?... Look at him lying there, isn’t this man attractive?”

Everyone chuckled again.

No one knew my eyes were not fully closed and the look on Tunde’s face nearly made me laugh. He was looking so embarrassed like a kid who got a knock for saying something silly.

“Then I want to say from the very first time I got involved in this whole saga, I knew I was doing it to save Titi’s relationship and I’ve spent time, money and energy without ever thinking of it twice cos I never had a grudge and I always felt like helping you straighten out your present relationship was a way of evening the score since I felt I owed you one.”

Titi pulled out her handkerchief and took it straight to her eyes.

“Well, I’m sorry babes but I also must confess I put a bit a more energy into the mission I tagged ‘mission save the day’ with the hope of warming back my way into Jay’s heart… but all that thoughts vanished the very moment I laid my eyes on this vibrant, young, gentle and handsome dude standing right here.”

Everyone applauded quietly and I felt like twisting Kate’s ears for making every single qualification she used for Tunde sound like those were things I was not. I’m sure I’m vibrant. Young? I guess. Gentle? Sure thing. Handsome? I’ll leave that in the middle for any debater to pick up as the topic for the next debate.
The deeper and more interesting Kate’s confession, the faster my heart beat and the more I knew I had to stop her. I kept on racking and devising a plan in my head but I wouldn’t lie about wanting to hear a bit of what Kate had to say. One way or the other, I was going to stop her once she gets to the river bank. I can’t afford getting exposed and losing the respect I had from these people in the room. Just then, a plan popped up.

“I must also confess that as part of the investigation, I became friends with June and made her trust me. That’s wasn’t that hard since I could make friends easily. But if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Tunde. I also acted as the informant and agent or whatever you might wanna call it. I supplied the information and gave regular updates to Jay, my mission commandant.”

Everyone chuckled again, clearly enjoying Kate’s confession session and already engrossed with the way she went about it. I was on the edge of carrying out my plan, I only pray I get my timing right unless, I’ll ruin the whole thing.

“Mission Commander indeed. Jay, The geeky commandant” Doc FM said looking at me to confirm I was asleep and didn’t it hear that.

“I think I should also confess that… Wait! Can I say this without even knowing if he’s awake cos I can’t say this twice and I’ll like him to hear it.”

“I’m sure he’s hearing us. He just can’t respond. At least he gave us a sign to ahead with this confession and here we are. So yes dear, you can continue and I’m sure he’s listening.

“You’re sure?” Kate asked looking at my face

“Yes dear, I’m sure.” Tunde nodded

“This is it!... It’s now or never!... I must act now or forever be looked at as the master in conspiracy. The stigma wouldn’t be on Dave cos he only came up with an idea I could easily have rejected then but instead, it was I who called the shot and gave the mission a go.” I thought and I wondered how 
they couldn’t notice the beating of my heart through the white sheet.

“I must confess that Jay, I and…”

“Sorry for interrupting you meeting ladies and gentlemen, but the doctor would a few minutes with the patient...” A light skinned nurse spoke, just as she opened the door and walked towards me with a slight smile playing across her lips. “…After which you guys can come back and continue. Sorry for cutting you short.”

Like students done with morning assembly, eight people filled out of my ward to my greatest relief ever. I’ve breath such deep sigh of relief in my entire life. This must be an angel in form of a nurse and if she’s truly a human nurse, then I owe her one for her perfect timing and being the unknown hero who probably just saved the day. This nurse just diffused a bomb without even knowing it. 

Incredible!

Few moments later, the doctor walked in and came straight for my face. Pulled up my left eyelid with one hand, and flashed a straight disturbing light into the eye with the other hand.
He repeated the process for the second eye and stood up.

“This man should be ready for discharge in two days alright?”

“Yes sir!” The nurse replied quickly.

He bent back down, opened my mouth slightly and squeezed a liquid that tasted like a mixture of pee and yoghourt. After the third squeeze, I had no choice but to swallow and I could say that was my first swallow since God knows when. My throat burned a little and it had the effect of peeling off the canvas tightening mechanism of a shoe.
 I coughed a bit, the nurse wiped the rest of the liquid I spilled out in the process and looked at the doctor who was busy looking at me like I was some specimen.

“Keep an eye on him and let me see your report on his progress alright?”

“Yes sir!”

They both marched out and I hoped to God the topic of these people coming back inside would be about my health. Why did I even tell them to confess about anything in the first place? I hope they’ll talk about what the doc came to do or what effect it has had on me. As everyone took their various positions, I hope they’ll want to see if I could now talk, sit up and the likes.

But instead they just took their exact positions before they went out and adjusted to continue.

“Goddamnit!... Let’s do this” I thought.

“So where was I before the nurse came in?” Kate asked.

“The confession you wanted to confirm if Jay’s awake for.” Tunde replied.

“Ok… So, as part of the mission in quote, I…”

“Dave?” I called with the highest level of endurance and strength, ignoring the pain and determined the cut Kate short.

Everyone turned in utter shock!


There has not been any great mind that has ever existed without a touch of insanity.



Mature Minds Talk.

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