November 11, 2017 Elijah Ogidi-Olu 0 Comments

The statement hardly ever sounds like “When will you marry” though… Where I’m from, It sounds more like “Oga when you go marry na?” and trust me, that’s putting it mildly behind those that’ll slap it in your face and blurt out “Aunty go and marry!” *Ghen ghen*. I don’t know about your continent, but in an African home, you don’t need to be a detective to pick up these signs, especially when everyone starts expecting you either to be married by now, or to have a prospective spouse.

But no, you’re there forming strategic planner and keen observer, when you should already be discussing with an event planner and wedding IV designer. Remember you said 2017 is the year. News Flash – After today, we have just 7 Saturdays to go. While you’re still doing “Skiyaa!”, all your mates have gone “Skidiki Pa Pa!” and their wedding ceremonies have gone “Kuku Skruuu Boom!” If you don’t know, now you know. When will you marry? What are you scared of?

I’m just on my way back from a wedding ceremony and this particular wedding is a special one. Let me tell you why. The bride is like a big aunty to me, and trust me when I say the bride isn’t a young lady (I’ll just call her “Aunty”). Aunty’s immediate older brother is married with two grown kids. My big bro, who I went with to the ceremony is married with three kids, and he’s very much younger than Aunty.

In an African home, cases like Aunty’s gets spiritual at some point, as some people would begin to wonder if you’ve been married in the spirit realm and your spirit husband wouldn’t allow men track your GPS in the physical realm. Ladies would relate when I say the pressure can be real sometimes. Civilization has done all it can, but the result has simply been – Ladies are no longer shipped off like cargoes to their betrothed, and are no longer becoming number six, nine, or twelve in the wives’ roaster.

If you’ve read to this point, let me ask you a question – “How soon can you get on a train whose rails lead to eternity?” or simply put “What exactly is the point, rushing with someone into an agreement that lasts a life time?” A wise man once gave a reply to the question “When is the right time to get married?” and he said “When that inner voice vindicates the thought in your head, and the timing tallies with that of your prospective spouse”.

Marriage is not in any way a certification of wholeness. It’s not the pathway to the fulfillment of your destiny, and neither does it in any way guarantee your ‘happily ever after’. If anyone tells you otherwise, stay away from them. You don’t need that kind of pressure. The most popular blogger in Nigeria is a single lady, and every time she achieves a feat, the next question a lot of people raise is “When will you marry?” The heck?! Seriously?!

You mean she has suddenly lost her right to achievements and fulfillment in life just because she’s single? Marriage is an extremely sacred institution, and those pressuring others into it, are part of those responsible for how dilapidated the institution is today. So my dear single brethren, the next time someone asks you “When will you marry?” Just smile and say “When it’s time, you’ll know”. 

End of story.


PS: If for any reason, you’ve decided to remain single, you have every right to your decision. In fact, I hold you in very high esteem. Accept my dab offering.

Mature Minds Talk.

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